The Culture at Large

So Hohan ends up with one day in the slammer. I say the system works. This allows for the potential of even worse offenses to be committed in the future by America’s greatest reason for, and escape from, the decline of western civilization.

As the summer movie season ends, it is time to look at the winners and losers.

Winners
-I saw The Simpson’s Movie three times. It was great each time. There was not enough Mr. Burns, but what are you going to do, nothing is perfect. Except for this.

-I sat in Transformers behind a group of thirty-something’s who had grown up with the cartoon. They loved it. The kids and teens did to. Despite my rational gut reaction to despise every pompous ass Brockheimer debacle since The Rock, I would have to call this a winner. It was one long commercial for various products, but cheesy summer flicks serve a purpose and this one did pretty well.

-Spiderman 3-was the best of the trilogy, but it was still bizarre. See summer flicks comment above.

-Pirates of the Caribbean 3- I liked it. It was a long film, and it had an epic quality. The conclusion was mundane, and some gratuitous Keira Knightly without clothes scenes would have made it way better, but Disney is a stickler for nudity. We’ll just have to wait for another remake by Joone, which I will enjoy for the dialogue of course.

Losers
The Adam Sandler bio-flick “Chuck and Larry” something. Just dreadful. This was clearly the work of the Awesemo 3000.

Oceans 13- Better then Oceans 12, but the Clooney/Pitt “we are so super cool we don’t have to make it look like we are trying, but in the end we could sleepwalk through the film and it would gross over 100 million” bit was only worth one film. This was like being spit on by rich pretty people. I feel violated.

The Bourne Ultimatum- Never before has a series of films made me wish so badly to fall asleep. I actually did fall asleep during the second one. I still don’t know what the point of this mess was. The fight scene with Bourne jumping through the buildings was ok, but I would rather be a male escort then sit through another one of these movies.

The Fantastic Four 2- Yeah, like I would spend money on this trite.

Recent Observations

There is nothing like watching a WNBA game that goes into triple overtime while you are waiting to watch a soccer game scheduled for a 10 pm start. It creates a special kind of rage every American should feel at least once.

A lot has been said about Michael Vick the past few days, weeks, and months. I especially like the idea that we are too quick to “judge” him. Did you read the affidavit? The dog fighting is illegal and bizarre if not horrific, but the gambling allegations are what is going to destroy his career if they ever find him guilty of it. The commish could give him a year suspension to go into affect after his prison sentence, which may end his career as a quarterback anyway. Rumor is that he will only be pleading guilty of crossing state lines with the intent to dogfight as a commercial venture.

Overall, I was amused by the “shock and awe” of people who didn’t think that something like this was possible. Young people with money are capable of anything good or evil, whether they are lame red heads, pro athletes, or 25 year old teachers who win the Powerball. (That’s right, I’m calling my shot for this weekend’s drawing. I figure fate loves confidence. )

The point is, trust the actions of no one. Everyone is just a player in the hustle, and everyone is capable of outrageously stupid behavior. Plus, the idea of due process is hashed out in the legal setting, not the most important court in the land, the court of public opinion. If you don’t want to be destroyed by the media and the public at large, don’t screw up, or move to Afghanistan.

Ask yourself, What Would Cliff Huxtable Do?