Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Sports Fans…PREPARE FOR GLORY!......

AS the Summer Turns...

About a week ago I had resigned myself to the idea that I would not be playing Fantasy Football this year. After 12 years, the practice seemed to be getting old. This correlated to my annual attempt to forget about my fascistic love of sports and become an even more enlightened person.

And just when I thought I was out….They pull me right back in.


Today the nation saw the Boston Celtics take a huge step in returning to the Promised Land with the acquisition of Kevin Garnett. The move vaults the team to the top three of the Eastern Conference. That said, the team still needs to continue to build. A veteran point guard and low post presence will be essential if the team is to lift the Larry O’Brian Trophy 10 months from now. The team will have to jell, but a tremendous amount of excitement is in the air. I am confident the addition of an all-time great in KG and one of the great shooters in history in Ray Allen will make The Truth an even better player. I fear Rondo is not ready, but he has 2 months to figure it out.

While losing CT’s own Ryan Gomes came as a surprise, he is eligible for free agency soon and I would not count out him coming back. Either way….

The 2007/2008 Boston Celtics….Championship…..


At the exact same time, the lads from the Fens pulled off a deal that saw Eric Gagne come to New England to be a set up man for Johnny Paps. This is a huge deal, because Gagne has had a fine season and is one of the best in the game when healthy. The day also saw the Yankees; also in desperate need of relief pitching, give away their most used relief pitcher Scott Proctor for a 25 year old 3rd basemen. It may be time for Brian Cashman to matriculate at NYU, or ESCU.

The Sox now have the best pitching staff in all of baseball, as long as Schilling comes back healthy. Now all we need is the offense to explode.

The 2007 Boston Red Sox…..Championship……

The 2007/2008 edition of the New England Patriots are now in camp. Bill, Tom, Teddy, Troy, Richard, Vince, Rodney, Mike, Ben, Donte, Adailius, Mike G, Lawrence, Eugene, Rudy, and Randy. We still need an Asante on board, but…

The 2007/2008 New England Patriots…..Championship……...


The 2007/2008 Boston Bruins……3/4 ain’t bad…..

And oh yeah…….“P.Manning Dog Fights”…….….Championship….

Monday, July 23, 2007

The Greatest Films Since 1982

The List

Numbers 14-1

14. The Breakfast Club-The best movie ever to watch over brunch on a Sunday. A film hadn’t captured the angst and idealism of youth since the early 1970’s, and this film put a supreme 1980’s stamp on the matter.

13. Schindler’s List-Great filmmaker, compelling story, difficult to watch.

12. Glengarry/Glenn Ross-Coffee is for Closers….Pacino, Harris, Lemon, Arkin, Spacey, and Baldwin. Written and Directed by David Mamet…Epic.

11. Rushmore-From the combined genius of Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson. Brilliant in every way.

10. Fight Club-A grandiose opus of modern cynicism and anarchy with two of the finest actors of any generation. It probably should be higher.

9. The Matrix-Every great Sci Fi concept smashed into one film.

8. Apollo 13-Made NASA relevant again. Hanks at his best since Big.

7. Platoon-Stone at his best…on shrooms and in the jungle….

6. Glory-Zwick’s best ever. One of the great casts ever, and awesome score as well.

5. Reservoir Dogs-Tarantino has his most cool. This film is a turning point in the history of filmmaking. Now, all those irreverent indie flicks get attention because of this movie. It changed how fans looked at film festivals, and how writers sought to create characters in their scripts. Pretty good for a film where 75 percent of it is shot in a warehouse.

4. Braveheart-No CGI, but the themes are still awesome. That said, Mel Gibson still sucks.

3. Gladiator-Ridley Scott takes the best of Braveheart and adds cooler names and Russell Crowe. Strength and Honor…..

2, The Shawshank Redemption-A tale of enduring friendship and hope in the face of tyrannical 1950’s Maine prison style oppression.

1. Pulp Fiction-A major human triumph in the history of the world….

Now I have to go see about a girl....

Friday, July 20, 2007

The Greatest Films since 1982

The List

Numbers 25-15

25. Tennis, Anyone?- When this list is made in 20 years, this movie might be in the top 10. It’s “Sideways” with Tennis, and a funnier ending. Plus, its Zen message may end up being the way I live my 30’s.

24. A River Runs Through It-A great film top to bottom. It can be hard to notice though, because Brad Pitt is just so dreamy.

23. Do the Right Thing-A visionary film full of complex issues. Spike’s films always challenge the audience, none more then this one. Plus, Public Enemy wrote one of the top ten songs in the history of music for the film.

22. Unforgiven-The last Western that ever had to be made. Eastwood’s best

21. Dead Poets Society-Spectacular performances by several actors, including Ethan Hawk and Josh Charles, and the greatest performance of Robin Williams’ life. This film is an yarn about personal demons, education, and Latin. It famously brought “Carpe Diem” to the peeps to be used at graduation ceremonies for the next 15 years.

20. Malcolm X- Spike’s masterpiece. Visually awesome, and Denzel is in top form. This film led to an enlightening of the Simpsons Generation to recognize the legacy of Malcolm X is something to be celebrated.

19. Casino-Scorsese takes the Godfather Part II to the next level. Di Nero is great as Sam “Ace” Rothstein. Pesci is on fire…..so is this.

18. Lord the Rings: The Return of the King-I love the four endings, its Jackson’s best.

17. Goodfellas-And they said the mob doesn’t really exist. The frenetic story of Henry Hill’s rise and fall is so layered with the decadent, the callous, and the horrific. Great stuff…

16. Field of Dreams-If you build it….They will come…

15. Crimson Tide-Denzel and Hackman at their absolute best…on a Submarine.


Check back Monday for the conclusion to the List....

GFY...

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Great Films

First off….The Victoria Beckham TV special was amazing. This women is Jessica Simpson and Anna Nicole Smith combined, and she’s British. Living in America will destroy her marriage, and Team England in Europe ’08, but if they could run this kind of show every 6 months the world will benefit deeply.

Later on I was sitting there watching The Godfather Part II, generally regarded as one of the finest films ever, and it hit me. Should I do another movies list? This time not under the influence of twinkies?

My past lists on the greatest films ever are always riddled with films from the 1960’s and 70’s, and 80’s. This makes them hard to truly understand for my peers who fail to recognize that many of the greatest things in life existed prior to 1990. There is also a bizarre group of people I know who somehow feel that most aspects of our culture peeked right around 1969. Thus, their personal frames of reference for music, film, and television are as stodgy as a soaking wet pair of Birkenstocks.

So, this list will cover the Greatest Films Since 1982. The difficult task is to examine the best of the past 25 years in an attempt to highlight the most notable contributions to the culture. The hope is that this will show my elitist ultra modern friends that most of their own favorites are tacky and lame, while hopefully providing an understanding to my hipster friends that the culture has continued to present quality in our lifetime.

Things to know:

1. I trust nobody and everything I say is important. Viewing others lists posted on the web was meant for research purposes only. Film Awards are based on payoffs and have little to do with the quality of a movie. I spit on them.

2. I am a Man. One of the greatest agents of gender division in our society is film. Thus, I am biologically predetermined to be a fan of “Movies for Guys Who Like Movies”. Thus, if you are expecting something with Glenn Close or Jody Foster as the main antagonist, whose immediate target audience is anyone without a Y chromosome, prepare to be disappointed.

3. I hate horror movies. Sorry to Eli Roth, but if you want to really be scared, read a newspaper. The villain from “Saw” has nothing on Halliburton.

Very Honorable Mention

South Park: Bigger, Louder, and Uncut-Blame Canada! Revolutionary stuff….

A Christmas Story-I watch this movie in July, and it is still hilarious.

The Goonies-Began the Sean Astin/Corey Feldman phenomenon.

Donnie Darko-Creepy stuff….but very interesting.

Before Sunrise-The greatest date movie ever made.

The 25th Hour- For the scene with Norton in front of the mirror. Spike is the man…

Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy-The number of classic one liners is immeasurable….

The Departed-The Best movie theater experience ever….Will be on the list with time…

The Untouchables-Costner as Ness and Di Nero as Capone. The scene with the Baseball speech is classic De Palma.

Back to the Future Part One-F**king Awesome.

Bloodsport-I wanted to fight in the Kumite for 15 years after I saw this film.

Saving Private Ryan-The first 20 minutes is awesome, but then just watch Band of Brothers. The story sucks less and covers the entire European theater.

Sideways-I’m not drinking any F**king Merlot….because of this film.

Forrest Gump-….Just kidding…That movie was lame. Jenny dies of AIDS people!!! they were just too scared to say it. ‘Freaking lame Hollywood crap.

Check back this week for the Full List.

Hilarious

The other white meat.

And Again

The complexity of Shagging to Radiohead

Friday, July 13, 2007

The 25 Greatest Americans Ever

Soccer is the joyous expression of life.

I compiled research for about two days during the All Star Break creating the list. I showed the list to some folks at the Sox game Thursday night and they hated it. That was all the praise I needed.

Keep in Mind:

1. The truly greatest Americans will or have been lost to history. They are the masses who toil everyday seeking a better life. This list is simply a glorification of those who have inspired others to follow their lead. The list is based on the individual’s historical significance,(How they helped to shape life in the United States) both while living and dead. Ultimately, they each needed to have left a mark on the USA that is still being felt today for the list to have any credibility. So sorry to my homies from Lebanon, Jonathan Trumbull and William Beaumont.

2. Just because you are “Famous” does not make you “Great”. So, sorry to the Anorexic Socialite Coke Addicts, Most US Politicians, Athletes, Cable News Talking Heads, and the uber-hip indie film/music impresarios. Most of you achieve some level of fame, but will never be Great.

3. It is my belief that having a philosophy or conceiving original ideas triumphs the use of violence to achieve political, social, or economic ends. Sorry to Andrew Jackson and William T. Sherman, Any Chairmen of the FED, and Oil tycoons everywhere. However, like any Hall of Fame, some individuals with questionable ethics, motivations, and actions made it in the top 25.

4. The goal of the “Noble Lie” is to induce short term conformity and unite disenfranchised populations under the umbrella of the Institutionalized Status Quo. This is not a new concept, it goes back to Plato. What we see in the history of democracies is that the ISQ evolves as the disenfranchised populations’ rebel and new “Noble Lies” are created.

5. Thus, it is not that I have disdain for some of our storied “Founding Fathers”. It is just that I have long believed the ISQ has evolved beyond simple hero worship for the “Founding Fathers”. Yes they were there at the beginning, but they also left a mess. Thus, my inclusion of some 20th Century President’s who took as much as they gave.

6. Even with the self righteous statements made in 4 and 5, most of your favorites made the cut. This is out of both fear and an enriched historical perspective. It seems I am a far more brainwashed white man then I thought I was.

7. I am totally about the 20th Century. It is when the nation peeks in many ways. How is that for nostalgia?

Very Honorable Mention:
Malcolm X
Thomas Edison
Arthur Ashe
Langston Hughes
Nikola Tesla
Louis Armstrong
Frank Lloyd Wright
Upton Sinclair Jr.
Henry Ford
Sam Walton
Tom Brady

The Top 25

25. Woody Guthrie
24. Shirley Chisholm
23. Lamar Hunt
22. Jane Addams
21. Muhammad Ali
20. Alexander Hamilton
19. W.E.B. Du Bois
18. William Randolph Hearst
17. John F. Kennedy
16. Caesar Chavez
15. John Adams
14. Bill Gates
13. Hugh Hefner
12. James Madison
11. Noam Chomsky
10. Jackie Robinson
9. Mark Twain
8. Thomas Jefferson
7. Abraham Lincoln
6. Fredrick Douglas
5. Jonas Salk
4. FDR
3. George Washington
2. Benjamin Franklin
1. Martin Luther King Jr.

Thats it....thats the list........Mahalo

Friday, July 6, 2007

Summer Homework

Who is the Greatest American Ever?

This is nearly impossible to answer. We have been so inundated with first the instituionalized hero worship and now the whorification of the country, that it has been easy to lose site of the important people who have had the most impact on the nation. We are all the products of what we see and hear, and our perspectives are often rose colored and hangover induced.

Why am I doing this? ......Because everything I say is important.


In the coming weeks, I am going to try to cut through the spin and revisionist history to create a list of the 25 Greatest Americans Ever. The devil will not be appearing on the list, I think.

The greatest super group ever will not make an appearence for obvious reasons.

Also, the makers of This would have made it, but then S.A.S convinced me otherwise.

And suggestions are welcome.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Thank You Optimus Prime....

For making me understand what it means to be a human being, and an American. The world is indebted to you and the rest of the Autobots.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Lugo and Drew...D'Oh

"The best thing that ever happened to Julio Lugo was the NBA Draft"
-E-Mailer to WEEI's Dale and Holley show

The addition of Julio Lugo has been Theo Epstein's worst, but not by much.

Need the stats?

2007 Season Stats
G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI SB BA OBP SLG
74 281 33 53 12 1 4 34 20 .189 .260 .281

This cat is making $8,250,000 this season and is in the midst of an 0-33 slump.

It's sick until you remember JD Drew is making $14,400,000.

2007 Season Stats
G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI SB BA OBP SLG
71 237 44 61 12 1 6 32 1 .257 .371 .392

This team was an enigma in March, and continues to be one.....Albeit a winning one. They are 10.5 up on second place Toronto, and 11 up on the 3rd place Yankee's.

Just wacky.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Commuting Scooter…The Reaping….

George W. Bush is the best. It was great to see that while it may look like he has spent the last three weeks on vacation; our President is hard at work making the world better for his friends and/or convicts who lied for Dick Cheney. It only took a little over a month to again spit in the face of everything that America stands for. A convicted man now never has to go to jail. The American Justice System when corrupted by the entire Executive Branch….MMM..MMMM…GOOD.

I just hope Scooter Libby promptly flies to Kennebunkport tonight to personally suck on the President’s golden testicles ASAP. It is the least he can do.

I just love how this is another case of America gone wild. The hypocrisy of a well connected white male obstructing a federal investigation and not going to the pen while millions of poor and minority Americans waste away in the pen for doing less is symptimatic of life in 2007. It is no wonder Andrew Bogut doesn’t want to raise his kids here. We didn’t even get to see Scooter do a measly Paris Hilton-esque 23 days.

No doubt this will add to the 3,000 mile long list of reasons to lose faith in America. Thankfully, there is still this.