Friday, August 31, 2007

Trapped Under Paper

As a wee lad of 20, I used to think the beginning of each semester was like getting kicked really hard in the Mr.Beaumount and spending the next 17 or so weeks slowly recovering.

Now,as I enter my second year teaching, the 25 and 11/12ths me views the undergraduate me with a brand of contempt rarely seen in people who are not on perscription narcotics. What a whinny little bitch!. Despite my much improved situation, I feel as though I have on some level been placed in a microwave and am being slowly cooked from the inside.

As always, I will maintain....wondering how me at 26 will compare to the clusterfuck possibilities of me at 30.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Year Two…

I have been saying it for years, and I was labeled a “pessimist”. Today, it is I who finally gets the last hour on the shrinks couch, because ….."We live in a Man Strangle Dog World"….Get comfortable.

Alberto Gonzales’ resignation ends the turbulent few years for this country and its embittered Texan, El Presidente. In the last two years exactly, New Orleans was destroyed and the amount of human suffering on the mainland was multiplied by millions. Then Don Rumsfeld had to be replaced for what can best be described as screwed incompetence. Like adding fuel to a burning terrorist started fire off the Mediterranean, El Presidente has seen his home slice Karl “The Dove” Rove, Tony Snow, and now Alberto Gonzales line up to jump ship. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. I think El Presidente should take some time off, it has been a tough 2 years.

A tremendous GFY to the US Men’s Basketball team for crushing Brazil and now setting its sights on those hoop crazies to the south, the tricolors of Mexico. This blue collar group of rag-tag multi-millionaires is quietly setting the world back on its normal axis. It is reversing the affects of Global Warming as you read this.


Man U finally scored another goal. Nice work Lads....Is Nani the new Cantona?

Is killing dogs and finding God akin to finding God and then eating a big plate of Chicken Parm? I don't think one can go without the other.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Culture at Large

So Hohan ends up with one day in the slammer. I say the system works. This allows for the potential of even worse offenses to be committed in the future by America’s greatest reason for, and escape from, the decline of western civilization.

As the summer movie season ends, it is time to look at the winners and losers.

Winners
-I saw The Simpson’s Movie three times. It was great each time. There was not enough Mr. Burns, but what are you going to do, nothing is perfect. Except for this.

-I sat in Transformers behind a group of thirty-something’s who had grown up with the cartoon. They loved it. The kids and teens did to. Despite my rational gut reaction to despise every pompous ass Brockheimer debacle since The Rock, I would have to call this a winner. It was one long commercial for various products, but cheesy summer flicks serve a purpose and this one did pretty well.

-Spiderman 3-was the best of the trilogy, but it was still bizarre. See summer flicks comment above.

-Pirates of the Caribbean 3- I liked it. It was a long film, and it had an epic quality. The conclusion was mundane, and some gratuitous Keira Knightly without clothes scenes would have made it way better, but Disney is a stickler for nudity. We’ll just have to wait for another remake by Joone, which I will enjoy for the dialogue of course.

Losers
The Adam Sandler bio-flick “Chuck and Larry” something. Just dreadful. This was clearly the work of the Awesemo 3000.

Oceans 13- Better then Oceans 12, but the Clooney/Pitt “we are so super cool we don’t have to make it look like we are trying, but in the end we could sleepwalk through the film and it would gross over 100 million” bit was only worth one film. This was like being spit on by rich pretty people. I feel violated.

The Bourne Ultimatum- Never before has a series of films made me wish so badly to fall asleep. I actually did fall asleep during the second one. I still don’t know what the point of this mess was. The fight scene with Bourne jumping through the buildings was ok, but I would rather be a male escort then sit through another one of these movies.

The Fantastic Four 2- Yeah, like I would spend money on this trite.

Recent Observations

There is nothing like watching a WNBA game that goes into triple overtime while you are waiting to watch a soccer game scheduled for a 10 pm start. It creates a special kind of rage every American should feel at least once.

A lot has been said about Michael Vick the past few days, weeks, and months. I especially like the idea that we are too quick to “judge” him. Did you read the affidavit? The dog fighting is illegal and bizarre if not horrific, but the gambling allegations are what is going to destroy his career if they ever find him guilty of it. The commish could give him a year suspension to go into affect after his prison sentence, which may end his career as a quarterback anyway. Rumor is that he will only be pleading guilty of crossing state lines with the intent to dogfight as a commercial venture.

Overall, I was amused by the “shock and awe” of people who didn’t think that something like this was possible. Young people with money are capable of anything good or evil, whether they are lame red heads, pro athletes, or 25 year old teachers who win the Powerball. (That’s right, I’m calling my shot for this weekend’s drawing. I figure fate loves confidence. )

The point is, trust the actions of no one. Everyone is just a player in the hustle, and everyone is capable of outrageously stupid behavior. Plus, the idea of due process is hashed out in the legal setting, not the most important court in the land, the court of public opinion. If you don’t want to be destroyed by the media and the public at large, don’t screw up, or move to Afghanistan.

Ask yourself, What Would Cliff Huxtable Do?

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Vote Summer

As my three week venture back to 1986 ends, I find myself wanting nothing more then to go back. I honestly would give it all up to relive July 2007 over and over in a more graphic version of the film Groundhog Day.

Things are interestingly easy when you get over not having a PC around. You read the newspaper more, and with more focus. I watched alot more TV, proving to the masses that this was actually possible. I fell out of my addiction to fantasy sports without the shakes. I actually watched more MLS then MLB. It was relaxing, and I didn't even have to leave the CT River Valley. I found that my mind worked differently. It was cool, I didn't feel the need to start the revolution. I was like a kid again, thinking about voting a Clinton into the White House and sitting on a porch eating plums like they were candy.

Then life shoots you in the face. I paid the piper, and got my PC back all fixed up. Life immediately returned to "normal", knowing that the events of August 2007 had rocked my world to its core.

I spent alot of time reading about the Enlightenment. Rousseau, though mentally unbalenced was actually right, man's need to use logic can cause further alienation. So lets throw reason out the door for now, as I take a plunge into a new wave....


Summer Quick Hits....


This has been the Summer of Daniel Sunjata. His role of Franco on "Rescue Me" has continued to destroy the show, while his take on Reggie Jackson on "The Bronx is Burning" has been huge for unintentional comedy all summer long. Despite this mediocore/generic tact, Sunjata has staked his claim to future straight to DVD action movies for years to come....

Hearing Scott Baio utter the phrase "Dizzy Broad" was a new high in the relm of Reality TV. I think if that show was on CBS, it would be the most watched show of the year. Chachi's list of past girlfriends is staggering, and should have been enough for him to have ended up on the honorable mention portion of my list of Greatest Americans Ever... my bad.

The Flava Flav resurrgence, and the tone it has created on how outsiders view Black entertainers, has set the African American community back decades. Some where Chuck D is sitting in a corner rocking back and forth trying not to cry.

This season of "Rescue Me" was supposed to mark a triumphant return, but I have got to say, this is turning out to be as uneven a season of TV as has ever existed. At least it has gotten me interested in the Nip/Tuck season this fall, but that is all.

The episode of No Reservation in Beirut is just awesome. One of the truest portraits of life in the middle east during the July of '06 Israel/Hezbollah war on American network TV. Gripping....

I hate the Yankees. "The Bronx is Burning" has sucked more as the present and past Yankee teams play better. With that said, Oliver Platt's clownish portrail of Steinbrenner is always good TV.

Frank Caliendo is actually talented. Who knew? And no, he is not realated to me despite our feakishly similar ponch.

If John Edwards wins the primary, he can thank Rolling Stone Magazine for the slurp job of an article in the last issue.

After watching Season Two of "Rome" on DVD, I have come to the conclusion that Mark Antony is one of the most interesting figures in History. Definately in the top 50.........mmmmm.....

I bought both a green and white KG #5 shirt this week. The Celtics are actually more on the mind then the Pats right now. Freaking wild.....

Please tell me what the difference is between Nascar and traffic?

If Tennis ever returns to the mainstream, it will be because this week's Pilot Pen in the Haven. fo' sure

Please tell me, is the MMA stuff human cock fighting? Can I bet on Little Jerry?
Whatever happened to Kevin Spacey?

There is only one thing to be said about the Sox right now...here you go...

Well, now it is that time of year again, time to get back to work...First assignment for the students....Name the top 5 Greatest Americans ever....

Deus Impeditio Esuritori Nulius....

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Epic Stuff

Highlights from Tuesday Night in the "Chi"

"Yes"-Joe Biden, aka Da Big Fundamentals...aka Barney Gumble

"Washington Insiders"-Barack Obama, aka The Home Country Advantage...aka I Must Break You...

"We are Withdrawing from NAFTA"- D to the K, aka The Jockey....aka I Make Soft Cookies....

"I'm your Girl"-Hillery Clinton, aka Max Power.... aka My Mullet Rocks...

"If we were a Parlimentary System"-Chris Dodd, aka The Great Nothern Hope....aka My Hair is Silver


7 people on a stage....Fat Teamters in bright green shirts....This is what dreams are made of...Best Debate Ever.....

Oh My God......

Monday night was the annual semi -final double header of the Greater Hartford Pro-Am basketball league. In a night that has traditionally presented the most intense summer basketball in New England, Monday night’s offerings were uniquely mundane. The weekend saw some major upsets in the quarterfinals to teams led by the great Ryan Gomes, former UConn talents Edmund Saunders and Talik Brown, and former COC conference stalwart Izzy Charo.

The first semi final game pitted number one seed All Axxess, led by 2006 tournament MVP and recent LA Clippers draft pick Jared Jordan, along with Durelle Brown (Big Fundies) and John Zito against perennial tournament giant Cambyland led by the versatile veteran Charles “The Beast” Easterling. In some regard the crowd at Fox Middle School knew they may have been witnessing the de facto title game. The crowd was also much more subdued knowing both Club Blu and Liv Ya Life, both fan favorites, had been eliminated.

This first game was a closer then the final score would normally indicate. With both teams nearly square at the half, a late third quarter explosion by All Axxess prompted by a few deep threes by Brown and dazzling passes by Jordan let to a rout.

As for the second game of the night, team Attorney Daron Freeman led by New London’s own and former Rhode Ram Tyson Wheeler and recent Golden State draft pick Stephane Lasme were matched up with the Connecticut Knights led by former 5 time NBA All Star Vin Baker.

From the outset of pre-game warm ups I knew this game would suck beyond belief. I had seen Baker play this summer, and was thus mentally prepped for the onslaught of depression one gets by watching a player who has fallen as far as Baker. Once one of the most versatile big men in the NBA, Baker’s alcoholism destroyed his career, almost ruined the Boston Celtics, and continues to dog him. In June Baker was arrested for drunk driving while leaving Foxwoods. Despite apparently failing the breathalyzer, he is challenging the charges. A sad story that appears to be getting worse.

Unfortunately, the play was sloppy and without creativity. Baker lumbered up and down the court and missed several free throws. Many left before the game even started. I couldn’t watch for more then a quarter. It was just terrible.

How do I retreat from this haze of semi-pro basketball depression?

Three days of New England Patriots training camp……

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Who says nothing good happens after 2 AM?

I was up at about 2:30 in the morning a few weeks ago when I saw the final rounds of the World Championships of the WRPS (World Rock Paper Scissors Society) on ESPN2. Officiated by the great poker player Phil Gordon, the rapid fire competition was hardcore. Like any of you who has the played the game knows, most of the game is luck. However, there are plenty of opportunities to subtly get into your opponents head and “will” yourself to victory.

While on the surface the competition seemed very lame, the more I watched the more I began to recognize that RPS may be the greatest game ever invented. The more I examined the game, I found that the best competitors strategize in a way I never imagined. Percentages have been accumulated examining the "go to" choices for players. This is a game that takes total control of one’s emotions and actions to win. The competition takes a profound level of hand speed, composure, and confidence.

Further more, in order to be successful the competitor must enter into the competition with a strategy that can be easily modified to handle the natural hazards that certainly awaits the competitor. The games was presented as No Limit Poker, but cooler and more masculine.

The best part about the situation was that despite the intensity,…yes intensity, the resolution was met with a sense of peace and serenity. Both competitors shook hands. It was like the end of a series in the NHL playoffs.

It really got me thinking. Why do we decide to settle disputes through an ambiguous list of rituals, procedures, institutions, and laws? Mainly, because someone told us we couldn't do it through RPS. Kids do it. But we choose other methods, even if we can emotionally handle a crushing defeat at the hands of a superior RPS players.

The concept that the rational side of mankind determines a society’s fate is what binds the fabric of this country, and our tradition of democracy that was started long ago. However, this immense pride in our own rationality stops us from evolving beyond the institutions we have now. I have come to believe our current problems have long been the result of the fact that we are blinded by our own hubris. Hubris in the sense that we so strongly have bought into the supposed security and stability of our society that we cannot see the drastic advances that must be made.

What if the current status quo works to promote irrational behavior? If provided more legitimate means, could we rewrite our fate through the use of new instiutions that reflect new rationals?

Like Hoover during the Great Depression, Huey Long running Louisiana, Nixon going into Cambodia, Clinton receiving a hummer in the Oval Office, or Bush going into Iraq, hubris has long dictated the country’s fate or consumed our attention. Hell, it has in many ways dictated the rise and fall of every great empire since the begining of time.

However, our perception toward the legitimacy of our endeavor has rarely been challenged because we believe our inate rationality will win in the end. We believe the organization of society as we know it is as it has to be.

I wonder....

What happens when the irrational lead us?

What happens when modern life manipulates our institutions to a point that they cease to complement the progression of our lives?

Can common sense be destroyed by legislative procedure? When it does, what action is acceptable? Can action be taken by regular people against legislative procedure?

Can a country call itself “Representative” when it's population sprints toward 350 million?

All will be pondered this month…….Stay Tuned