Great Films

First off….The Victoria Beckham TV special was amazing. This women is Jessica Simpson and Anna Nicole Smith combined, and she’s British. Living in America will destroy her marriage, and Team England in Europe ’08, but if they could run this kind of show every 6 months the world will benefit deeply.

Later on I was sitting there watching The Godfather Part II, generally regarded as one of the finest films ever, and it hit me. Should I do another movies list? This time not under the influence of twinkies?

My past lists on the greatest films ever are always riddled with films from the 1960’s and 70’s, and 80’s. This makes them hard to truly understand for my peers who fail to recognize that many of the greatest things in life existed prior to 1990. There is also a bizarre group of people I know who somehow feel that most aspects of our culture peeked right around 1969. Thus, their personal frames of reference for music, film, and television are as stodgy as a soaking wet pair of Birkenstocks.

So, this list will cover the Greatest Films Since 1982. The difficult task is to examine the best of the past 25 years in an attempt to highlight the most notable contributions to the culture. The hope is that this will show my elitist ultra modern friends that most of their own favorites are tacky and lame, while hopefully providing an understanding to my hipster friends that the culture has continued to present quality in our lifetime.

Things to know:

1. I trust nobody and everything I say is important. Viewing others lists posted on the web was meant for research purposes only. Film Awards are based on payoffs and have little to do with the quality of a movie. I spit on them.

2. I am a Man. One of the greatest agents of gender division in our society is film. Thus, I am biologically predetermined to be a fan of “Movies for Guys Who Like Movies”. Thus, if you are expecting something with Glenn Close or Jody Foster as the main antagonist, whose immediate target audience is anyone without a Y chromosome, prepare to be disappointed.

3. I hate horror movies. Sorry to Eli Roth, but if you want to really be scared, read a newspaper. The villain from “Saw” has nothing on Halliburton.

Very Honorable Mention

South Park: Bigger, Louder, and Uncut-Blame Canada! Revolutionary stuff….

A Christmas Story-I watch this movie in July, and it is still hilarious.

The Goonies-Began the Sean Astin/Corey Feldman phenomenon.

Donnie Darko-Creepy stuff….but very interesting.

Before Sunrise-The greatest date movie ever made.

The 25th Hour- For the scene with Norton in front of the mirror. Spike is the man…

Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy-The number of classic one liners is immeasurable….

The Departed-The Best movie theater experience ever….Will be on the list with time…

The Untouchables-Costner as Ness and Di Nero as Capone. The scene with the Baseball speech is classic De Palma.

Back to the Future Part One-F**king Awesome.

Bloodsport-I wanted to fight in the Kumite for 15 years after I saw this film.

Saving Private Ryan-The first 20 minutes is awesome, but then just watch Band of Brothers. The story sucks less and covers the entire European theater.

Sideways-I’m not drinking any F**king Merlot….because of this film.

Forrest Gump-….Just kidding…That movie was lame. Jenny dies of AIDS people!!! they were just too scared to say it. ‘Freaking lame Hollywood crap.

Check back this week for the Full List.